I love you, really..

There's many times I whisper to myself, not to give up.

There are times when I started doubting. 

There are times I want to be alone and be freed. 

There are times I always ask myself,  why am I holding on? 

But it came to me that nothing is easy at all for me. Everything seems to be a challenge.  Everything seems to be different. Everything seems so different from what I wished to or expected. 

Life isn't great for me all this while. But there are definitely happy times.  

The time when you bought something that is so expensive and you could barely afford.  I knew you are the one that can go thru thick and thin with me. There are so much happy times that I couldn't even numbered it. All I know was you are the one.

All this while,  I took the time to love you with all my heart. To take the effort to make all this worthwhile,  and I got stumbled.  I started asking myself,  when was the time I really love myself?

When was the time I feel easy,  free,  and happy about myself? All the time I was busy,  very busy fitting onto how your parents feel or you feel.  I have been so tired to keep up your  pace.  

It  was all good initially.. but everytime I was being reminded of what has happend. It wasn't easy to let go, isn't as much as I want to. 

It kept reminding me again and again. And then I realize that I wasn't beside you anymore. I'm still stucked,  and I have no idea how to come out of it. 

Every night,  it feels so quiet. Everything just keep flashing and flashing. Everything seems so blurred to me 

What have we become? 

Your love for me didn't wavered at all, but I did. Because I stopped continuing to know how. I didn't fell for anyone neither anyone fell for me.

All I need is an assurance.. a proper assurance.  

I don't mind without having fanciful stuffs,  I'm easy to be contented enough.  But all I need was your love and your way of doing things.  

 I wished you could understand my thoughts. I hardly open up to anyone, and you can never feel it.... 

All I need is an assurance.. but you would never able to get my hints at all.. 

I'm tired.. 

如果有如果

我也希望有一天你会改。

可是我太天真的相信。
可能我早不应该在你身边。我累了

好想真的放手

心碎

心伤到遍体鳞伤。

为什么永远都是我在付出？为什么我的人生那么的悲惨。我真的很累。

难道玩游戏真的比和我在一起还好吗？有时候我真的怀疑你好爱我吗？为什么电脑都比我来的重要。难道没有玩游戏会死呒？

我不是瞎的，我看得出你是不是真的在乎。却给我发现一天比一天来的糟。

给了我那么多的承诺，到头来只是一场空。

是时候放弃了吗？再也不一样了。我们都变了。我们只是习惯彼此的存在。这已经不是爱了。

老天爷，我的命真的很苦了，为什么还要这样作弄我？ 求你到我离开这人间吧。我不想在这样了。

我快要崩溃了。！！！

alone

I'm so sick and tired .

Why i'm always the one to ask , why not you?

When are you going to do something about it?.

You flare up infront of me, ask yourself have you cared about my feelings?

Why can you even do this to me ?

I'm start to think that you no longer love me. Really.

Is it really time to let go ?

Best christmas gift

I wish it was me.

I wished i can be like other girls

I'm always feeling inferior about myself. Even my boyf makes me feels so. Idky..

Sometimes i even wonder does he really loves me ? Why can't he just hold my hands infront of my friends? What is it suppose to mean?

I feel so sick and tired . All i need is someone who is proud to have me. Not to be shy or even feel ugly about having me. I'm sorry.

Sometimes i wished we never met .

I wish it was me.

Mostly everyone is getting engaged,

I want to get married to him too. But he's been dragging.

Sometimes i realize if he really wants , he will try . But he just pushed it all they way till his ord date. I guess it was just an excuse.


What if one day, i no longer wait?

Abandoned

I'm sorry, mummy. 

I know i'm not filial to you. I'm sorry.

This time i'm really on my own now. Please let me pull through all this. 

Am afraid one day my boyf will turn his back on me too. Sighpie.

why?