There are times when I started doubting.
There are times I want to be alone and be freed.
There are times I always ask myself, why am I holding on?
But it came to me that nothing is easy at all for me. Everything seems to be a challenge. Everything seems to be different. Everything seems so different from what I wished to or expected.
Life isn't great for me all this while. But there are definitely happy times.
The time when you bought something that is so expensive and you could barely afford. I knew you are the one that can go thru thick and thin with me. There are so much happy times that I couldn't even numbered it. All I know was you are the one.
All this while, I took the time to love you with all my heart. To take the effort to make all this worthwhile, and I got stumbled. I started asking myself, when was the time I really love myself?
When was the time I feel easy, free, and happy about myself? All the time I was busy, very busy fitting onto how your parents feel or you feel. I have been so tired to keep up your pace.
It was all good initially.. but everytime I was being reminded of what has happend. It wasn't easy to let go, isn't as much as I want to.
It kept reminding me again and again. And then I realize that I wasn't beside you anymore. I'm still stucked, and I have no idea how to come out of it.
Every night, it feels so quiet. Everything just keep flashing and flashing. Everything seems so blurred to me
What have we become?
Your love for me didn't wavered at all, but I did. Because I stopped continuing to know how. I didn't fell for anyone neither anyone fell for me.
All I need is an assurance.. a proper assurance.
I don't mind without having fanciful stuffs, I'm easy to be contented enough. But all I need was your love and your way of doing things.
I wished you could understand my thoughts. I hardly open up to anyone, and you can never feel it....
All I need is an assurance.. but you would never able to get my hints at all..
I'm tired..
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